OH NO! HERE WE GO AGAIN....BIGOTRY ABOUNDS IN THE ROGERS' HOUSEHOLD!

Just when we were safe to come out into public places again. We were in the hot tub last night and I asked Hannah what she had learned in primary. She told us that when we do bad things (and "choose the left" as she says) our skin will turn dark....."and when we are really good our skin will be really light....." (picture my little practically albino daughter here....). We tried to gently tell her that she had misunderstood without dissing the primary teachers....but at this point she believes them more than us so we may have a problem.....trying not to make a big deal just yet but I am sure you all remember the preschool fiasco that lasted over a year! Why is it always this child of mine? In the meantime, be thankful it is winter and stay out of the sun so Hannah will still think good of you all....

DO YOU DRIVE THIS VAN TOO?

Okay, a couple of weeks ago I was grocery shopping with the twins. I don't usually have them with me so I can blame that fact on my dorkiness.

These stinkin' vans are everywhere! I really wanted a black Oddesey but the dealer told me I would have to wait 6-8 months. I guess there are other moms out there trying to be a Hot Mama! On numerous occasions I have gone up to the wrong van, only to find that it will not unlock with my keys and I move on until I find my van. You don't expect me to remember where I park do you?

Anywho, back to my story. I clicked the van open as I was walking across the parking lot then opening the back hatch. I started to load my groceries in the back. I made a note that Alica's camping stuff was still in the back of my van. I thought Jim had already given it to her. Well, from behind me an annoyed voice says "That is my van you are putting groceries into". In my confusion I sputter and babble about how weird it was that we both had camping gear in the back of our van and did she unlock it too and other nonsensical garble. She was not even mildly amused. She said "That is your van over there" like I am some sort of imbecile and couldn't find my own van (point taken). Later Seth and Hannah said "You tried to put groceries in Timmy's mom's van. "What?? You knew her? Yeah, they said. He is Cheyenne's next door neighbor that we play with." Oh crap. I hope I never have to meet her in person. Next time I am buying a custom pink SUV or something....

An unexpected and uninvited rider in the HOV lane....

Why is it called the HOV lane anyway? What does that stand for? Anywho, Zach and I take full advantage on our way back from our monthly visits to Primary Children's Hospital and wiz on by the other cars-what a feeling of power!

Well last week we were in giddy spirits as we left after a full day of check-ups and IVIG therapy and after having passed our FOUR YEAR mile mark of being cancer free....We went out for a late lunch at Chilis on 4th South then headed to the freeway. We got sidetracked by the Salt Lake City library--neither of us had been inside yet--and had a fun 45 minute detour exploring while Lisa watched our twins....(forgot to tell you about that detour Lisa--thanks!)

This was a gorgeous day! The sun was out and there was just a slight breeze and a hint of fall. In our mood we opened all the windows and enjoyed downtown Salt Lake. I was about to roll up the windows (slight breeze is good-wind on freeway with all four windows down is a bit much.....) before we entered the freeway at the 4th South HOV entrance. Just then a large (okay average-sized) box elder bug flew in the window and landed on my dashboard right by my steering wheel. It began staring at me.

What to do? I was now accelerating onto the on-ramp going 55ish. I could not stop. If I rolled up the window I would block all exit routes for the bug. (not good). I considered flicking him out with a piece of paper but then I realized that the motion of the wind with the window down meant he would fly right back in and land right on my face.

Mental images of the girl who had the bee in her car and accidentally ran over the old man and killed him a few years ago swam through my head. I of course felt inclined to share the story with Zachary. I literally had one eye on the bug and the other on the road. No sudden movements! I willed him to stay put. I think the wind and the 80 m.p.h. speeds helped. It soon became apparent as I approached 21st South that it just might be possible to keep him in place as long as the traffic stayed moving. Thank goodness for the HOV lane as this was during rush hour!!!

By this time I could see he was quite well-behaved. I think he knew how many lives were in limbo if he moved in the slightest. He changed positions only once, turning his back to me instead of staring at me. That was okay I guess but I realized I felt better about his intentions if I could look him right in the eye. (okay, I couldn't actually see where his eyes were, but....)

My hopes soared as we reached Sandy. We might make it! My hair was a tangled mess and I was quite the sight. Suddenly I realized that Zach was not taking his eyes off the bug either and he appeared very nervous. Zachary does not get nervous very often so this was a red flag....As we approached Draper (hoorah!) I asked him...."Zachary, are you nervous about this bug???" "Well", he confessed, with sincerity in his voice, "all I can think about is you and the grasshopper in Mesquite and what could happen if that bug moves....." "Oh" I say. Now I understand.

Well now you are wondering, if you have not already heard the story about the grasshopper, what he was talking about. This will make this post unusually long and for that I apologize.

When we took a little family vacation to Mesquite this summer we took the kids to a McDonald's to have ice cream cones and play during the heat of the day when they were swimming pooled out. Zach went outside, thinking we were leaving. He came back in when he realized we had not left and had a very large (well, actually small to average) grasshopper on his shoulder. I mildly freaked - nothing noticeable and the grashopper jumped off his shoulder onto the floor. Suddenly the grasshopper was gone. No one had seen it jump. Where did it go? I was a little nervous but we called the kids to go and started preparing to leave. I was standing up calling the kids from the playland when I felt a tickle on the back of my thigh. I turned and lifted my skirt to see HIM!!! the very large grasshopper crawling up under my skirt!!!!

Well, it's all a blur to me from here on, but my family claims that I let out a blood-curdling scream and that the restaurant became silent as the workers and patrons stared open-mouthed at the apparent spectacle I was making....Appareently the workers stopped everything and stared. I do remember this part....An onery old man (probaly actually a disgusted nice man) said to me "IT WAS JUST A LITTLE GRASSHOPPER FOR CH____'S SAKE! "Well", I stammered.....but it was crawling on my leg and well...." my excuse sounded pretty feeble, even to me.....no one seemed amused that I had apparently scared the hell out of the entire place and nearly prompted emergency action.....

As the story flashed back into my sieve of a mind I said "Now I see why you are nervous Zach.... Yea, you probably should be. "

Zachary must have been saying a prayer for the entire trip because our little passenger stayed put until our exit. When we came to a stop at the Bangerter exit, he started to move, knowing that his time was near. I neatly swatted him out of the window with a piece of paper and he flew out to hitch a ride with some other poor unsuspecting driver. Hopefully he caught a Northbound car so he could head back home to his family.

I rolled up my windows and went home to tackle the snarls. Zach sighed a sigh of relief and probably said a prayer of thanks. I should too. Actually, everyone on I-15 should too.